Why do women go so crazy over me!?

why, just last week I was at Halle Berry's book signing & she said to me "hey strawman, I love drinking milk through a straw" then Kim Kardashian came in with Beyonce & Kim said "yo scarecrow, lookin for sum brain?" then they all started beating each other to a pulp! please! it's getting out of control! everybody wants a piece of the strawmister but I'm not a machine!